These are just emotions taking me over...

Ok, so I have been seeing some blogs where the people think they are "rambling", but in reality I enjoy seeing how people think about things. So this will be a rambler for me, I usually don't do these, but I have a lot of things on my mind right now. Bear with me.

First off, my little boy is ONE! I cannot believe it. Where has the time gone?! I can honestly say that I did not want kids for a long, long, long time. In fact I was happy with having my nieces and nephews as my kids. I could always give them back at the end of the night :) But when My amazing Talon came into the world, I knew that he was meant to be ours. He fits so well into our family with his personality and easy going attitude I can't imagine a life without him now. Yes, there have been some rough times, but it only gets better. Albertsons does a free 8" cake with a purchase of another cake for the first birthday. He got a cars cake and went to town as you will see. He also got some fun toys from Gramma and Grampa Ott and some awesome clothes from the Thompson grandparents. He loves showing them off to anyone who comes over. He is such a great little boy and I can't wait for him to be able to walk and play with us. And no, I do not plan on having any more children for at least, AT LEAST 5 years.



Next order of business: I made it into the ST. George Marathon 2011!!! WOO! I am so excited to do this marathon again. But I'm not excited for the training, but I am at the same time. It kills me to say that I have gained some weight since I had Talon. Enough to say that I want to lose 40 lbs. before the marathon in October. I feel like I'm always so busy with taking care of Talon, working, going to school, taking care of the house and my husband I have no time for myself and I hate how my body is taking the brunt of it all. So my goal is to lose that 40 lbs. get myself happy again and finish the marathon better than I did my first time around.

And then there is the ever-present worry about school and money. Honestly, I think it's ridiculous that the government doesn't focus more on the people who are 2-3 times below poverty level, going to school to make their lives better, have a family and can only work part time or for a job that doesn't pay well enough to support them. Don't they realize that we are the future? Without us getting degrees and going to school, this country will go to crap. I know that we are being blessed by paying our tithing, because I have no idea how we are making it through each month. Here in Rexburg, there isn't really the job market for me to get a full-time job to support my husband through school so he can quit his dead-end job (by dead-end I mean that it's not taking him to his ultimate goal of what he wants to be) and become the Physical Therapist he wants to be. I mean, just thinking about it just makes me want to cry.

And this is where the emotions come up. I haven't had a true vacation since I had Talon and with the whole school situation and all that life entails, I'm at a breaking point. As much as I love my son, I would just love a day or two with my husband on a mini vacation. I know not many people read my blog and it may sound like I'm whining and that I should cowboy up. But you can only get back on the bull so many times before you break every bone in your body. You have to let your body heal right? Ok I'm done. I'm sorry, but this is the only way I can vent. I love my life, don't get me wrong, but everyone needs a mental health day. Mine is coming soon I hope.